i vaguely remember writing a blurb on my myspace blog (back when myspace was an acceptable form of social networking- like way over 18 months ago, umkay) about turning twenty-three. i think i wrote something about how turning twenty-three was like having a light switch turn on in my head...about how things just seemed to make better sense in my new, wise age. it is obvious to me now that i may never figure anything out. ever. and if i ever think i do, i should enjoy that misleading moment before the next onion layer is revealed to show my infinite ignorance. as much as i love being a student, that constant learning process (always new shades) is a bitch. one big, constant wave of misinformation, road bumps and paperwork. why is the universe spitting in your perfectly steeped tea, miss garrett?
i am half awake & being dramatic, of course, but after my long, deep sleep, i cannot stop imagining my life as a ridiculous max-like adventure that takes place only in my head/dreams with a persepoli view of my actual, working new yorker life. this week i have spent too much time wondering why the chinese government spends millions for clearing air pollution so that rich people in face masks can see an even pricier fireworks show?? and why i don't quit my job to document (comic book style) the upcoming third sequel of the presidential money-burning parade??? new villains! new side-kicks! (that is one rant i did not mind, jp)
or maybe im mz. fish.
la weekly is not even in my top ten, but this shit is funny & occasionally original.
there is one tall, skinny sliver of beige sky visible from my living room window. it is the worst view in my apartment, including the window in the kitchen that overlooks a poorly drained courtyard with miscellaneous toys, tools & toddlers scattered around. and still, the second-best thing i can imagine on a tuesday morning, while my soft boiled egg cools & i my caffeine addiction settles for spitless tea, is staring @ that beige sliver.
and i don't think it's because i'm dreaming of athens. on tuesday mornings, anyway.
1 comment:
first to comment again, sweet!
first of all, good for you for lessening the caffeine. secondly, i have to say that desperately trying to be present in the moment, remembering to breathe, & trying to shift the brain to thankfulness for being even the teeniest thing in this cosmos are the only things i've found to help combat those dreadful realization moments when you realize you'll never know much, if anything & your paradigm shifts AGAIN. well, i'm lying. caffeine & chocolate help, too in a pinch, but i didn't want to mention that since you're trying to give up & all...
love your fervor, as sarcastic & cynical as it is!
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