Sunday, March 30, 2008

racists unite!



hahahaha....i am sitting in a coffee shop in prospect heights trying not to laugh too loud. my sister is funny. and i would like to thank her for being the ONLY person to, not only read, but comment on my blog. thanks, sister. i dont even think you meant to say "bit" butts, but it made it all the funnier. the keys are too close together, ive always said ;)

so i have been frequenting this particular coffee shop this week because it sells AMAAAZING loose leaf jasmine tea (current obsession), but the late 90's pop music (no grunge) that they play constantly is k i l l i n g me. acoustic guitar, whiney white boys. many of the songs, the one-hit-wonders, who are all-but impersonating oasis and green day, are live recordings- some acoustic. this playlist makes the scarce counting crows or cranberries song a welcomed break. i cant believe i just wrote that last sentence. but, no, i keep telling myself, the jasmine tea is worth it. and it is. to go.
which brings me to my next rant....where the hell is the late night coffee shop in brooklyn? the only ones i have found are gorilla and atlas. every other decent coffee shop seems to close at 7,8,9. what is going on here? i might have to stop by spider house and epoch in austin around 2am on a tuesday and apologize for taking them for granted.
common misconception #452: just because youre in the big city, tex, doesnt mean these people know how to make a proper latte. yes, just another example of my insanely high expectations of this move (many of which have had their tops blown, others shockingly disappointing). i cant tell you how many people have argued with me about lattes. ive had people give me drip coffee, tell me it is a latte, after i saw him put the steamed milk in the drip coffee, which he then denied and asked me to pay $7 for; ive had them put in half a shot of espresso with steamed milk and argue that the difference between a cappuccino and a latte are that a latte is half a shot and a cappuccino a whole; then there was the asshole who JUST gave me steamed milk! a cup of steamed milk. surely, i told myself while rushing to catch my bus, there is espresso at the bottom. now, i know what you are thinking. be fair; every single one of these occurrences resulted in steamed milk, a good 3/4ths of a proper latte. but let me tell you. not the important part of a latte. a big ass cup of steamed milk is NOT refreshing, warm or revitalizing. in fact, im pretty sure it made me feel reeeeeal sick. so pity be gone. im over the new yorker-prone arguing-for-the-sake-of-arguing stance. no wonder our president is such a douche bag. who is going to argue with someone caraaaaaazy enough to say that things are going well- "victoriously"- in our current legal conflict. a latte is only supposed to be half a shot, you say? daaaaamn, youz so crazy iz be believinz yous.

i just lived through the acoustic version of creeds hit arms wide open. you may be asking yourself, "h o w????" well, there is a very loud espresso machine right by my head and it saved me from the first 3.25 minutes. and they keep doing sneaky things like playing george harrison every now and again. a temporary fix to the next dave matthews song. if i end this post abruptly, it is only because i got to my breaking point, jumped up, my boss' laptop smashing on the ground as i throw my scolding hot tea at the barista, interrupting his word-for-word sing-a-long & get the hell out of here.

but for now....i will tell you that my love affair with someecards is up and running again. if i could figure out how to post multiple pictures on this damn thing, then i would post this, this and probably this one, too.

i am not a democrat. i am not easily convinced that anyone who has affiliation with an established political party in america, at this point in history, is sane. i think i have made this clear in many ways, but perhaps i am wrong. i do not see a very significant difference between democrats and republicans. they live in the same gated communities, enjoy the same tax breaks & high powered criminal defense attorneys, among other things/prostitutes. however, in ideology and on paper (according to the platforms they claim to, but never really follow), i would probably most agree with democrats over republicans. when in doubt or exhaustion, go with the pocketbook. i also hope that anyone (which is no one) reading this blog knows that i am young and stupid, trying to figure things out and not making sense while doing it. the reason i write this anyway, is because im pretty sure you are equally stupid- haha, just kidding, but at least to get a conversation going.
so there is an email going around about michelle obamas princeton thesis. i barely have enough energy to address this, because i LOATHE everything about american politics and the media that is making this celebrity tour of an election such a friggin ordeal so much that i dont want to give it attention. but, alas, people are star struck and want to gossip. i dont know that the writer of the particular emails i received would gain anything by reading my opinion, because we are not made up of any similar parts. but...
first of all, if there is anyone in this country who thinks that americans are not racist, then they should get the, congratulations, you have reached a level of delusional observation that makes the popular myth of marie antoinettes character equal to that of mother teresa award. or maybe it is just me and pretty much, in some way, every person i have encountered in my entire life that are racist, and it just happens to be that i have met all the racist americans, but everyone i have not met is completely, 100% not racist. yeah, that is probably it. now, one thing that people forget when thinking about or discussing this topic is that people are racist, and that could be where the confusion is. so, let me clarify: PEOPLE (meaning you and me and everyone else) are RACIST (meaning we do not truly believe that all races are equal, whether it is intentional or not, learned behavior or innate). one thing that makes this fact more understandable is that PEOPLE (meaning you and me and everyone else) SUCK (meaning, like, are not cool, man).
seriously though, people do not understand equality. equality is a theory that we pretend to understand and practice, but really, we practice selfishness. there are martyrs out there, sure, but even they seem to give their lives (or whatever it is that they are giving up) for a "greater" cause that they believe they understand and you dont, or they believe they will reap some reward in the end (ive never heard of a martyr who thinks that death is the end). it is sad to think that we are all assholes, but even the most optimistic christian will tell you that we are all sinners. we can strive to be (and get pretty damn good at being) selfless, but if we do, it isnt natural- it is forced. my friend ezra just read what i am writing and said that i am cynical, that he would help an old lady cross the street, but he is missing the point. he would get gratification of doing a good deed. and he would only do it if he had the time. if he were rushing to meet a hot girl, he would feel guilty about not helping the old lady out for a split second, rush by her, and never think of the instance again as soon as he saw the hot girl. he is rolling his eyes.
so as long as we are selfish by nature, there will be racism. because racism is a form of selfishness. just as sexism, ageism, classism, whatever ism it is to look down upon other religions/denominations, country etc will always exist. basically, i cant get into your head because language only takes us so far and you and i have had different experiences. so, i dont understand you. i do, however, understand myself (most of the time). so when you do something i dont understand or that i wouldnt do, you are weird. you are weird because you are a man and i am a woman, because you are religious and i am not, because you sleep under a bridge and get ignored on the street, while i have an overpriced apartment and could get a ride home from a stranger. i am incapable of understanding how you think and what you are going through. and selfish enough to care, but not take it upon myself to make you my personal responsibility. or if i do, then that is nice, but you are not the only man, religious follower or homeless person. the idea is not to ignorantly think we can rid ourselves of these feelings (or for gods sake think we already have), but to level things out so that we are educated enough to know we all have a tendency to be an asshole, that we have "reasoning"/experience behind our actions and thoughts, and that we will go nowhere fighting each other...that a suicide bomber doesnt just equal a bad person, black and white, who deserves to die. there is a reason he or she is willing to die. im sure if others made an attempt to understand how/what that person was thinking/feeling, others would not want to put said suicide bomber in the desperate position he/she must be in. is it a new phenomenon that people act out of fear? americans fear terrorists, just as jihads do. we differ in who the terrorist is. but maybe ignorance just makes us feel better about committing murder. that is why javier bardems character in no country for old men bothered me. yea, it is cool that he was terminator-esque and all, but i dont think that serial killers just kill because they are killers who think killing is fun. go ahead and roll your eyes, but he probably didnt have a great upbringing, now did he. maybe we should put a little effort into making sure people have better quality of life so they are less inclined to commit murders like handsome javier. but i digress.....in america, due to a little thing called slavery, a prominent type of selfishness happens to take form as racism between black and whites, which overshadowed a whole bunch of criminal immigrants in ghettos in new york in the, well, watch that movie with daniel day lewis, cause i dont have the energy...
[the more i think about that email, the more pissed i get that some ignorant shithead thinks there is no racism in america! i bet if pill head limbaugh rote that thesis, they would have sent one out praising it. that is obviously as much thought that was put into it. anyway....this isnt about michelle obama. i dont know her or care to. maybe that dumbass thinks the way he or she does because they are stupid and not equal to me. haha, just kidding.]
now, im not trying to make dave chapelles jokes any less shocking and educational, but there are blacks who dont like whites and whites who dont like blacks. if people think being a racist means you say it out loud, then sure, we have grown up since segregation and the kkk. but a disapproving glance at a mixed race couple, a well dressed white person walking by a homeless black man, a moment of tension when a black man is behind you on the street at night, a white woman getting helped before a black woman in a store are all examples of racism. most forms, i think, are ones we dont even realize and have everything to do with being inside our comfort zones too long. once upon a time there was a boy named mikey and mikey had a dog. mikey tied his dog up, ignored it, beat the dog when it barked to protect him or whined for attention, rarely fed it and almost worked it to death. that dog was pretty capable of messing mikey up. and one day, when the dog got loose, it messed mikey up. real bad. if you were that dog, wouldnt you? and im guessing that dog didnt like anyone who resembled mikey. in fact, it wouldnt be far fetched to think that dog didnt really trust anybody (dog or human) ever again. i think if i were that dog, id go after mikeys family. but thats just me. most dogs and humans dont necessarily want to hurt other people or dogs. i think they just want the ability to live a good life. (if you know me, you know that i am part dog and that this analogy makes sense to me) ever see the movie monster? well i did, and that bitch was crazy. not because she took a crazy pill, but because life handed her a raw deal that slowly and gradually lead her to crazy and she didnt have the tools or social infrastructure to adequately get back to not-crazy. now it is a nice thought to just say, "well, im not crazy. i dont go off killing people and my life hasnt been easy." but i think we all have our levels of crazy and maybe you are lucky because yours is mild depression and apathy. but maybe, due to the deal life has handed you, you do more to make others crazy than yourself. there is a gelato place in the lower east side that has over two hundred flavors. some of them are nasty, some of them are amazing, some of them i will never get to try because i go back to my favorites. but they all give me wicked brain freeze.
im sure you are wondering what the hell gelato has to do with michelle obamas thesis, and the answer is very little. but whether it is in texas or in new york, there are sections of town where people tend to live with others who are like them. why? because they are more likely to understand each other and share the same values, while people outside of those bubbles dont understand. guess what, those bubbles perpetuate the problem, and violence occurs where the bubbles collide. but the good new is that selfishness can be exploited. people tend to be better to each other inside their bubbles, because they get the feeling that making that bubble secure is good for them personally. i guess this means we should just widen our ideas of a safe bubble and stop being assholes to each other. but since no one is reading this and we are still living in a society where ridiculous emails are being sent to secure our ghetto walls, i say to the person who thinks that michelle obama, via the thesis she wrote as a college student years ago, is a threat to american comfort by acknowledging that people are fiercely protective of the ghettos that understand them and are unlikely to move outside them, my bubblist advice is to go to your house in the suburbs, grab some tasty italian food at your local olive garden, tune into culture and reality through a blockbuster dvd with others like you, pretend that racism doesnt exist and that european prisoners (your ancestors) werent shipped to the colonies. the skewed social views you continue to believe and endorse are helping to build the argument to the conflict you claim has been rectified; the people who are most negatively effected by those views may be docile and tired now, but they are hungry and neglected and ready to fight back.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

stuff & things


(images from weburbanist.com, thanks to aaron)

i dont mean to sound ungrateful, because i am happy to be in new york, especially during this little economic crisis, but the tourist situation is driving me mad! yeah, yeah, weak dollar, tons of tourists, new york is doing fine financially. GET IN THE PACE! GET OFF THE STREETS! you are holding me up & reminding me that i do not have a business on st marks that charges $185 for a 100% polyester maxi dress. my friend josh used to hate riding in a car that i was driving. he is prone to road rage, anyway, but especially with drivers (like me) who hesitate. and now i understand. never hesitate! i make & pay for enough mistakes on my own, why should i have to wait for your adorable three year old to climb the stairs, an illegal u-turn or a kansas crowd blocking the sidewalks outside of the american diner?

ok, sorry about that. im back in good spirits & i love the east village. there are so many parts of manhattan that challenge my gag reflex, but i do love the east village/les. maybe that is because i can afford the yoga classes, music and art that is there....hmm. plus, the buses in that part of the city are less crowded and the drivers have a sunnier disposition (meaning they honk when they drive past you waiting). in general, i have found that if you dont have your bike (tear), the bus is a decent second.

i dont know that ive ever made my enormous crush on simon pegg public, but i cant help it now that run fat boy run is coming out. sure, it is mostly because of the crush & the fact that i am dying to see a movie that i am so excited, but still. come on. it does look pretty amazing. and that is what is distracting me from the sad truth that grizzly bear is playing @ bam with paul simon & i cant afford to go. it would be rad, but i will just have to resort to stalking grizzly bear & finding out where they practice in bklyn.

so my craaazy super, pablo, has this dog (a husky mutt) who is so beautiful. he doesnt have a name. im guessing he is 3-5 yrs old, fully grown. he is sweet, hungry & bored and i dont know what to do for him. i dont want to call animal control or whatever because i dont want him to be killed. you know i love animals, & i would take him, but he is big & im not home enough right now. nor can i afford (yet) to feed a 70+/- lbs. animal. if i could, brutus would be up here. also, there is the whole germany thing.....but the poor guy looks so sad & noy (roommate) & i are constantly trying to give him attention & water. pablo throws food in the courtyard for him to eat twice/day, but it isnt what you would call quality. anybody want to rescue a precious dog?

finally, it's on paper: journalism is dead.

my mind has been on my new project all day, so i thought i would share. here is some reading on what i will be working on for the next month or so:
I-VAWA
Afghan women
i think after this round (three), i may need a friggin massage. or a comedic performance. possibly a new job. we shall see.....

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

off the grid like tesla


it is a beautiful spring day in the city! i walked extra slowly on my way to the subway this morning,& barely played my morning what nasty objects can we spot on franklin avenue today game (i am starting to get bored of the same old things that used to shock me, like hair weaves, strollers & bags of white stuff. ah, the bk). the sky is clear & the sun is bright...like texas in december. i started to think of ways i could get out of working so i could run around the park instead, but then i remembered that my cage is better than most. it has big, thin windows & pays me so that i can live in the spacious (empty) apartment i never get to enjoy (the one next to the park that i never get to run around in). ok, pity party over, i actually like my job most of the time.
it does always surprise me how the temperature changes from brooklyn to manhattan everyday. those tall buildings are really good at blocking sunlight & creating wind tunnels. but it is beautiful & warm today, even in manhattan. i almost feel bad about writing that sarcastic remark a few posts back about not enjoying spring.....almost. almost because, today when i leave work, it will be winter again. but that is ok, because i wouldnt want to put punxsutawney phil out of a job.

yesterday there was a fire in the building next to my second-favorite nyc public library branch (fyi: the brooklyn library system is a great alternative because it is rarely crowded & has decent resources, probably due to the cities' consolidation & therefore a benefactor of the great generosity of this guy, three years later. side note: his dad, william, was pretty cool, too). no one was hurt, but it was a little frightening to watch. thick, black smoke was spewing out of the windows & firefighters were climbing up to the roof to get people out safely. good drama, but nothing big enough to stop the grocery on the first floor from selling (under-ripe) oranges.

in other news,
this happened today. and this, as well as this/this, this & this. oh, and this. and that is all im gonna say about it, because i have made a vow to not get too serious in this post. biting tongue....
so i am not gonna say anything. nothing. nope, dont even want to.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

“Fascism is capitalism in decay”


as you can see, ive been reading vladimir lenin today.
[before it get into that, i want to apologize for the last post. grammar nightmare! not that being grammatically correct is a goal of this blog, but geeeez, that was bad.]
back to leninism: i find it fascinating to read about leninism in the present. there is so much of it that, like all theory, is unrealistic & unforeseeable, and that, if it were to be put into play, seems very contradictory to implementing a socialistic infrastructure that (ideally) would have no need for a proletariat dictatorship. but i suppose i have been suckered into thinking that socialized democracy could (baby step by baby step) be achieved. although it is an awful reading experience, there are a lot of amazing passages in his most-famous work, what is to be done? i know he has written most about imperialism, which he defines as,"the monopoly stage of capitalism," but i have not read any of it, and do not plan to, as i am on to fiction after this....my brain is turning to mush after tse-tung's collection of essays. i am such a dork, it isnt even funny. but reading these two greats back-to-back is humbling to say the least.
the opinions of my family and friends lately has got me thinking about life as a cycle- vague, i know, but whether it is my youth or just my disposition, i cant help but think of everything as new & fresh...forgetting that a man wrote a text in 1920 or 1937 or BC for that matter, that in so many ways is relevant now. it is a constant teeter-totter of WE ARE TINY/WE ARE HUGE, IT IS DIFFERENT THIS TIME/SAME OLD STORY. my dad wants me to be cautious of putting my thoughts out there, because to some people, maybe they are racy. because the internet is a new experience. and then i think of how, before the invention of the cubicle 40 years ago, and boxes called offices before them, people used to have time (or, gasp, be appointed) to think and write and put their thoughts out there on paper, bind them and pass them out. but are the consequences the same? part of me wants to believe that revolutionaries with pamphlets allowed me to have this undereducated, insignificant blog. maybe the same revolutionaries that created the capitalism that is destroying individual freedom & now i am using what is left of my individual freedom to talk shit about what those revolutionaries have become (or maybe what i am realizing they always were).
my mom tells me that war is inevitable, that humans will always disagree, that we are aggressors by nature. of course. is it in some ways the same idea that lenin had- aggression, must be had in order to secure something, to prevent something that m a y happen, that has already happened? it is just a matter of what is the "right" aggression- what is "understandable" aggression. but you must always be on one side of the aggression. deserting is not an option? or it is an option, but not a PRODUCTIVE (according to lenin) one? i feel defeated thinking that it is all about a line that no one can agree on. oooooor, if you agree that A is bad for you, but good for others, and that B is bad for others, but good for you, then you are screwing over yourself or others everytime you chose A or B and probably most compromises in between. that is so insanely sickening. so if war in iraq = safe, free americans (which i think we all know is a joke on many levels), but war in iraq also means hundreds of thousands of innocent lives are taken, then, because i am american, i must agree with war in iraq? in this particular case, i guess the link that i am missing is the "christian" one. i dont believe in a god or his son who will give people a clear conscience for killing people because they dont believe in the "right" god. i read that book, too, & i got something completely different out of it. i thought that dude was cool & saved hookers & "unsaved" lepors. but "maybe" i just like "to" use lots of "quotations" or somethi"n"g.
which brings me to a request. i am tired and writing this blog instead of working, so i will just take the easy way out and say that, to kellys response on the moral majority, i will comment later. but for now, i am reminded of an article i read a couple of years ago by paul waldman.
(yes, i told you i was a dork, now get off my back) actually, i might have my friend edward write about the moral majority. it will be in spanish, but still a lot more coherent than anything i write is.

today's missing texas moment: FRUIT! what the heck? all of the fruit here is under ripe and terrible! it is so upsetting. i wont even tell you about the lettuce situation. someone move this state closer to florida, georgia and/or california so i can eat something that tastes how it is supposed to.....hint to mr. joe trader: fruits dont ripen on a truck! what does a lady have to do to get a proper kiwi fruit or avocado around here?

note to self: write about john mccain's public comment on iran training al qaeda

Monday, March 24, 2008

i'm not sure easter is worth the down i experience once i've finished my cadbury egg.


i picked up a copy of social anarchism issue 37 today (my first) & have been reading it in my spare time today (very little). so far, however, i am impressed with the publication. i picked it up to read it & send to my friend amber, who is very much into emma goldman. i quickly turned to an article titled anarchism and the question of human nature, which looked interesting. you can check it out here.
let me know what you think, i would love to discuss.

so ian's show opened up on friday & it went very well. people seem to be immediately drawn to his work, sweet water (see photo above). the photographs are of desolate west coast landscapes,
many that are eerily inviting. i am in the gallery on fridays if anyone wants to come by & see me/the show.

because today marked four thousand american soldiers dead in iraq, & because we have all heard about it A L L D A Y L O N G, i would like to point out how small that number is. im not saying that to be an asshole; a life is a life, and four thousand is too many. too many unnecessary deaths. but four thousand is an incredibly small number compared to the amount of american soldiers who have been wounded (nina berman has documented some of their stories here) and who will never live a normal life again; in a very real sense, they have given up their lives for this cause. and four thousand is a tiiiiny number compared to the amount of iraqi civilians who have been killed in the last five years. the fact that after thirty minutes of trying to pinpoint that number, i gave up because it is so apparently insignificant in the press, is gut-wrenching to me.

i was searching for statistics on censorship here in the u s of a & came upon this blog, which (before it was censored) wrote about a new (still unreleased) de palma film. im sure there will be a blog or three about that later, if i can track down the film.......

and now for something completely different:

i found a bar in the bk with shuffle board. ok, i didnt find it, but i am going to go ahead and take credit, since my friend who really did find it doesnt read this blog. not only do they have shuffleboard, but they have ommegang witte. mmmmmm.

i am off to study german!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

i've run out of things to say to my plants. also, i don't have any plants.

do-it-yourself punk aesthetic and blunt honesty
the wanderer on will oldham
PHOTO: renzo piano's academy of science
san francisco, opens sept 08



this morning i was talking with a coworker about the news of the day when i mentioned bin ladens latest statement against ongoings in the gaza. shocked, she asked what i was talking about, since bin laden has been dead for "at least a year, right?" it does seem very peculiar that american news has stopped covering bin laden. while now, at the end of the day, you can find mention of his name if you search google news, al jazeera, xinhua & even telesur have been covering the story all day. fox news, for example, chose this headline today. im willing to put money, however, that it will make the front page of the times in the morning as soon as someone catches on that it will be a good little opportunity to support bushs recent stick-with-it-or-theyll-kill-us-first speech. i mean, come on, he insulted the pope again. beware americans! there is still a threat! & it is true, there is a threat. a much more serious one than existed in 2001. but i suppose if american news covered stories that had to do with un-america, we might have to, lets say, listen to richard gere talk about buddhism (he is the leading authority, right?). and who wants to go through more of that? OR, maybe we just want to keep the shiploads of lead paint coated toys a'commin.

my dad informed me that today is the second day of spring. well, congrats to you people experiencing that. wow, i had no idea. let me know how that goes....

im very excited about a show opening up tomorrow @ jen bekman gallery! ian baguskas' solo show goes through april 26th. looks like it is a good time to be a new yorker in awe of the art scene. can you imagine?! i had no idea so many people wear estée lauder!

ok, on a very serious note:
i have been struggling to find the perfect yogurt & it is not going well. ive tried every soy yogurt on the planet & they all SUCK! regular yogurt is pretty fattening & the low fat, fat free & 2% either have creepy "fruit" chunks in them or are watered down. can anybody offer me a solution? & why, for gods sake, does nobody in this city have rice or almond milk? am i the only one who hates soy milk & thinks our diets contain WAY too much of it (soy)? ive been bitching about this subject for ages, but it is so much worse in new york. did you know that along with wheat, soy is one of the foods people are most allergic to & that it is high in estrogen? if i can have a panic attack just looking @ all the options of toothpaste, it seems obvious that i should be able to get a brown cup of joe with something other than hormones. am i wrong?

ps: kel, i promise to respond to your comments when i get more than five minutes to post!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

atisha!


i walked into my first day @ the gallery & i instantly connected with atisha, a talented analog photographer who i adore! he has a show going on right now @ temporary gallery. people are loving it, like artvscommerce & me! im so happy for you, atisha. & i cant wait for our next date!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

tex & the city: episode one


she may beg, she may plead....



ive been meaning to write down some initial thoughts on moving & adjusting to life in nyc for some time now.
here are a few topics/memories of the big move that come to mind:

@ the airport
leaving texas was such an obviously overdue step for me, that i honestly didnt have time to think too much about what it would mean to LEAVE TEXAS (friends, family, comfort, familiarity, weather, convenience) behind. & then i got to the airport. my one way plane to new york landed @ laguardia @ 4:50pm & i got a text from bruce (the best friend, who has lived here for two and a half years, originally from texas). he had sent it while i was at the airport in austin, but i had just received it. he was going to be late- two hours late- picking me up because of a miscommunication with his boss about his schedule. uhhu. well, i did not want my fabulous life as a new yorker to be unnecessarily delayed any longer, so i decided to take a cab. after lugging four RIDICULOUSLY heavy bags to the cab line outside, i found a place in the "ALL FIVE BOROUGHS" line. i will pause here to tell you that not only should you have your all-but-absolute-necessities mailed to you instead of lugging them around a city you hardly know, but that the people @ laguardia are less than happy to know they have one more person to live with in this already too crowded city (& will therefore not offer any advice/information to you, however obviously it make look as though you need it). so im in line & (like all things in new york- except for foot traffic in chinatown) everything happens quickly- no time for questions. a man shouts "where'ya headed?" & i respond, "brooklyn!" he hands me a piece of paper & i jump in the cab that i am all-but pushed into (four bags deep). the cabby yanks the paper out of my hand & says, "address?" i say the address & show him my print out yahoo map (yes, i know, shut up). he throws down the paper, gets out of the car & proceeds to yell @ the man in charge of the line. YELL. i couldnt make out 90% of what they were yelling about, but that ten percent had everything to do with a stupid girl who didnt know what she was doing & wanted to go to greenpoint.
so, as it turns out, cabs hate going short distances. they want to take you some place that is not so close by that it is a cheap fare, but certainly no jersey or anywhere of the like. & they want to drop you off at a place where there are three hundred people sitting there waiting for that one cab to show up. they want those three hundred people to hold a (quick) auction with the lowest bid starting at $10,000 & for the winner to get in & ask to be taken to a place where 6,000 people are awaiting their glorious arrival. no, they are (for the most part, minus the fact that they rarely know where the hell they are going outside of downtown/midtown) pretty good people. but this particular cabby. my very first cabby. he wanted to kill me. & i cant say that i blame him, seeing as how things only got worse when i wasnt quiiiiiiite sure where metropolitan met bushwick & i wasnt aware that he preferred cash. holy shit, i would have killed me, too! so let this be a lesson: FIVE BOROUGHS (staten, manhatten, brooklyn, bronx, queens (harlem/washington heights=manhattan) doesnt mean aannyywwhheerree in those boroughs; be specific (especially in brooklyn, because it can mean the difference between a ten dollar fare and a fifty dollar fare).

introduction to the trains
im drinking a la fin du monde & i am still not sure i can adequately express to you my thoughts and feelings on the new york city transit system & its owner, the mighty MTA. i had visited the city several times before, but looked at things with fresh eyes upon arriving in new york. and my first thought was (in naive texan accent), "this is not the place for my envirolution."
in good ole austin, it is so easy to recycle anything youd like. all i did was have the tenants of my apartment complex sign a petition (not even all of them) that said they would prefer to include paper in the complex recycling bins & in a week, badabing. and that was in my $385/month (including 72 cable channels) downtown austin apartment. i was/am used to greenbelts & fresh air, where allergies come from plants, not underground sewage & rat infested train tracks. &, although many of the people i interact with on the daily are very aware, savvy, intelligent people, there are so many people in this city that you can not really characterize a new yorker. you can characterize a native brooklyn resident in the middle class & call him or her "a typical new yorker," but you would be wrong. the point being, people here are conditioned on a different level. let me just say that people (for the most part) are more aware of current events, the reality of politics, etc than people in texas, but they are SO aware of it, that they are overwhelmed & just as unmotivated. the only difference is that people in new york are unmotivated in mass transit, whereas people in texas are unmotivated in cars. i think it was my second day here that i told bruce i missed texas.
so the trains are completely messed up. they were all made to move traffic from brooklyn into new york & v.v. and from northern or southern manhattan to its opposite, respectively. brooklyn was actually a completely independent city than new york as recently as 1898 but became a suburb of new york as the city grew into an international cultural center, so it is understandable that the trains were set up this way, but they are sooooo out dated! if you want to go from one area of brooklyn to another, RIDE A BIKE. because the good old G train aint cuttin it & who has time to wait on the sloooooooow buses? this wouldnt be such an issue if it were easier to catch a cab in brooklyn, or to hail one willing to go to brooklyn from manhattan. but it isnt. northside, southside & myrtle car services, however, are pretty amazing & will be @ your door within ten minutes (sometimes in two) no matter where in baroookalyn you may be. now, some lessons that i learned early on include:
1. NEVER ATTEMPT TO MEET ANOTHER HUMAN AT A POINT IN NY AT A PARTICULAR TIME & PLACE. it will not happen. & im not saying this simply because i just recently learned to read a map. it just will not happen. a train will be late, your metrocard will not scan, the map or person you use as guidance will be wrong, weather will worsen &/or you will get on the wrong or express train. which brings me to my next lesson:
2. BEWARE OF EXPRESS TRAINS! they are awesome! but only when you know they are express trains. otherwise, you will be extremely confused, & ask people, "is this the 6?" in fact, it is the 6. the EXPRESS 6. it is just that nobody told you that except for the conductor whose voice over the train speaker is about as understandable as kurt douglas. some of the trains- most now- have automated announcements or boards that light up their stops, but just be aware, fellow texes in the city: the express train can get you further away from your destination than you already are, or it can get you there so unexpectedly fast that you want to cry happy tears.
3. Because NY/MTA offers 24 hour train service, SUBWAY STATIONS ARE NASTY. and, more importantly, are CONSTANTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION. so if you are going to be traveling via the trains midnight-5am fridays-sundays, you should know that you are not going to get home in your normal route. & it is ok....every other new yorker is just as annoyed & shocked by this consistent fact as you are. it is just MTA's way of messing with your head after youve had a few (too many). if you want clean, constructed trains, go to europe. and take a cab between the hours of 2am-5am.

ok, those are the main points i can think of at the moment. the hardest thing about learning the train system for me was that riding the subway makes it very difficult to get your bearings in a new city. being underground gets you all turned around! so take the bus when you arent in a hurry, because it is really nice to check out the city from an above-ground vantage point. & learn to read a map- theyre really helpful when they have metro stops printed on them.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

in ter v ent i on

bubble wrap chairs by joseph o. holmes

so my brother-in-law, clint, was in an indie film last year that has been kickin ass in film fests around the us. check out the trailer here. (he's the one without a hat)

urbanization: i read this article this morning by mr alex steffen, & i must say, it is a little scary how true it seems to be among my generation. suburbia=hell. as my french friend said to me on wednesday, "you americans just dont value family. and there is nothing wrong with that, except that you pretend to. you feel obligated to." so maybe alex and my friend are on to something. live in the city. live with culture/distractions, the hustle and bustle that leaves you so tired @ night that you don't mind living in your closet-sized apartment. let your friends and neighbors (your ipods and computers) be your family. and indulge in your desire to be an individual first & foremost. there are so many amazing things about living in a city like new york. tonight alone, i know of three art openings & a hand full of bands to see. there is a great place to eat amazing food on every block. but how does this false sense of solitude compare to a fresh country breeze? plugging into my ipod on the subway doesn't give me any sort of connection with nature. but i honestly can't think of anything scarier than moving to a small town & living with quiet space & my thoughts, without anyone to challenge them. obviously, the answer is making cities green. community gardens, world peace, yada, yada. but in my lifetime, choices must be made. & with more & more people choosing urbania, i think a market is opening up for a green artist commune circuit (ahem). you know, with all those dolla bills floatin around. let's admit it, this spoiled generation is used to getting what it wants. we want our cake multi-layered with non-bleached sugar, whole wheat flour, farm raised eggs & made by giada de laurentiis; oh, & we want to eat it, too. without the calories.

speaking of wanting to live within a closer proximity of our fellow humans, amnesty has released a long-awaited report & interview as further evidence of human rights violations conducted by the us government. with pictures of spitzer's lady friend spread all of new york & "news" papers talking of obama's fiery preacher persona problem, i will say it again: why do we have a war criminal (& his posse) in office? oh, right, only jpmorgan chase's vote counts. i forget.....


my missing austin moment today is lou reed @ sxsw 08:



lucky bastards.

ok, ok. on a lighter note, i have found a place in the city that is amaaaaaaazing for yoga (thanks, ben). the downside is that it is way too crowded sometimes, so you have to find the smaller classes. but i love, love, love it. it is called: yogatothepeople. check it out & meet me there. yoga is the B E S T therapy in the world. also good in the city: sonic yoga.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

heliovolt: green business

my friend bj was recently interviewed by Jon Lebkowsky of worldchanging.com (one of my daily must reads as well as one of my favorite books). he & his work have been an inspiration for me to pursue my urban design studies (wherever they may or may not take me). read the article here!

Monday, March 10, 2008

monogamy & intelligence: there's no room for you here


i really wish that eliot spitzer's last name rhymed with something so that i could come up with a clever title for this first-official-post of my blog re-birth. like lester, the last name of my older sister's nightmare theology professor. i think it went something like, "lester, lester, the grade point molester, the man who gave jesus a C." but i am sick to death of this topic, anyway. if you know me, you should skip down to the next paragraph, as i do not want to repeat a rant you have surely heard on more than one occasion.....why are people so obsessed with the private lives of public officials that a sex scandal is the worst/biggest thing that could happen to a politician's career? the only thing that initiates the word impeachment? dont get me wrong, im thinking the same thing you are: why wouldnt he have an affair with a woman of good social standing, like his more-honest, classier peers? i mean, really. a prostitute? as socially acceptable as adultery is, this man really has no excuse. still, i do think that for this scandal to be the buzz, like so many sex scandals of officials who have had notable (good or bad) political careers, is sadly very telling of our priorities as a nation. it is as if we are crying out, "entertain us! give us something to react to that is basic enough that we dont have to open a dictionary or think about to understand! keep the act going so we can eat more!" nevermind that we have a war criminal as a leader. the fun stuff is gay, married republicans' sex scandals & the rapist democrats. harper's quoted spitzer (aka client 9) as saying on tape, "...would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe." when are people in america going to realize that the size of the porn industry
isnt normal or simply a product of non-christians? that madonna was on to something other than marketing? can you imagine what would happen if a political party existed that represented secularity- reeeeaaaaal secularity? secularity that doesnt compromise on topics of sexual education or fundamentalist funding? wow, that would be revolutionary.

it is amazing how complicated things are outside of the realm of school, curriculum, definitions, theories. i was reading through a paper i wrote my junior year, comparing collective anarchism & libertarian socialism. that was funny. absolutely OFF topic to anything but a good wine-induced conversation or daydream. certainly not a book or an in-office referendum. & then you have noam chomsky. yes, you will hear his name quite often. because he is one of the smartest people i have ever read. i would want to be just like him if i were old, cynical & too smart to communicate with humans or believe in religion. but what good would it do? what good is it doing noam? people read his work, are stunned by it- not inspired- stunned. perhaps they write a stupid blog that no one will read & spend their time away from his words ranting to their annoyed friends & family. maybe they write a book that provokes a similar reaction. but sitting on a hill only helps the guru. & those crazy fast food eating couch potatoes need noam's help. who is the (productive) middle man & what does she do? no, im not gonna kill caesar. im not high enough on the hill & because i am a libertarian socialist, i dont even believe in the hill. but after seeing a magnificent play this week with brian dennehy (oh my god he is GOOD), i am thinking more and more about brutus' (speculated) point.
ok, enough of a rant for now......stay tuned for the first episode of Tex&theCity.

one year later.....

so i started this blog a year ago in austin, texas, fresh from finishing school @ the university of texas. since then i have moved to brooklyn & started working as a researcher for human rights campaigns in manhattan & as a writer for an art gallery in SoHo/NoLita. it sounds much more romantic than it was, but i sold my possessions & got on a plane, one way to laguardia with two checked bags & two carry-ons. i started this blog mostly out of boredom, with no real outline for what i wanted to say. and not much has changed in a year. new city, officially in my mid-twenties. but i thought it might be fun to catalog the funny things that happen on the streets of new york (through the wide eyes of a girl from texas) & the state of a deeply divided leading nation in the midst of a world-wide crisis (based on the opinions of a youthful post-graduate).