as you can see, ive been reading vladimir lenin today.
[before it get into that, i want to apologize for the last post. grammar nightmare! not that being grammatically correct is a goal of this blog, but geeeez, that was bad.]
back to leninism: i find it fascinating to read about leninism in the present. there is so much of it that, like all theory, is unrealistic & unforeseeable, and that, if it were to be put into play, seems very contradictory to implementing a socialistic infrastructure that (ideally) would have no need for a proletariat dictatorship. but i suppose i have been suckered into thinking that socialized democracy could (baby step by baby step) be achieved. although it is an awful reading experience, there are a lot of amazing passages in his most-famous work, what is to be done? i know he has written most about imperialism, which he defines as,"the monopoly stage of capitalism," but i have not read any of it, and do not plan to, as i am on to fiction after this....my brain is turning to mush after tse-tung's collection of essays. i am such a dork, it isnt even funny. but reading these two greats back-to-back is humbling to say the least.
the opinions of my family and friends lately has got me thinking about life as a cycle- vague, i know, but whether it is my youth or just my disposition, i cant help but think of everything as new & fresh...forgetting that a man wrote a text in 1920 or 1937 or BC for that matter, that in so many ways is relevant now. it is a constant teeter-totter of WE ARE TINY/WE ARE HUGE, IT IS DIFFERENT THIS TIME/SAME OLD STORY. my dad wants me to be cautious of putting my thoughts out there, because to some people, maybe they are racy. because the internet is a new experience. and then i think of how, before the invention of the cubicle 40 years ago, and boxes called offices before them, people used to have time (or, gasp, be appointed) to think and write and put their thoughts out there on paper, bind them and pass them out. but are the consequences the same? part of me wants to believe that revolutionaries with pamphlets allowed me to have this undereducated, insignificant blog. maybe the same revolutionaries that created the capitalism that is destroying individual freedom & now i am using what is left of my individual freedom to talk shit about what those revolutionaries have become (or maybe what i am realizing they always were).
my mom tells me that war is inevitable, that humans will always disagree, that we are aggressors by nature. of course. is it in some ways the same idea that lenin had- aggression, must be had in order to secure something, to prevent something that m a y happen, that has already happened? it is just a matter of what is the "right" aggression- what is "understandable" aggression. but you must always be on one side of the aggression. deserting is not an option? or it is an option, but not a PRODUCTIVE (according to lenin) one? i feel defeated thinking that it is all about a line that no one can agree on. oooooor, if you agree that A is bad for you, but good for others, and that B is bad for others, but good for you, then you are screwing over yourself or others everytime you chose A or B and probably most compromises in between. that is so insanely sickening. so if war in iraq = safe, free americans (which i think we all know is a joke on many levels), but war in iraq also means hundreds of thousands of innocent lives are taken, then, because i am american, i must agree with war in iraq? in this particular case, i guess the link that i am missing is the "christian" one. i dont believe in a god or his son who will give people a clear conscience for killing people because they dont believe in the "right" god. i read that book, too, & i got something completely different out of it. i thought that dude was cool & saved hookers & "unsaved" lepors. but "maybe" i just like "to" use lots of "quotations" or somethi"n"g.
which brings me to a request. i am tired and writing this blog instead of working, so i will just take the easy way out and say that, to kellys response on the moral majority, i will comment later. but for now, i am reminded of an article i read a couple of years ago by paul waldman.
(yes, i told you i was a dork, now get off my back) actually, i might have my friend edward write about the moral majority. it will be in spanish, but still a lot more coherent than anything i write is.
today's missing texas moment: FRUIT! what the heck? all of the fruit here is under ripe and terrible! it is so upsetting. i wont even tell you about the lettuce situation. someone move this state closer to florida, georgia and/or california so i can eat something that tastes how it is supposed to.....hint to mr. joe trader: fruits dont ripen on a truck! what does a lady have to do to get a proper kiwi fruit or avocado around here?
note to self: write about john mccain's public comment on iran training al qaeda
No comments:
Post a Comment